"Somebody, Please (get this to Otis)"

Somebody call the police

I done killed our love

Hear me, somebody, please

Somebody call the police!

(instrumental interlude)

Somebody call the EMTs

I can't hardly breathe

Won't somebody hear me, please

Somebody call the EMTs!

(instrumental interlude)

Somebody call the fire chief

The whole place is burning down

Gonna burn this whole town down

Somebody call the fire chief!

(instrumental finale)

May 23, 2022

© 2022 by Michael J. Farrand

"Got Me Down"

Ain't no White Man sing da Blues
. . Must be the wrong part of town
Ain't no White Man sing da Blues
. . Something sure has got me down.
November 30, 2014

Five Songwriting Books

1. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King (he's a fiction writer, but does this book ever apply to songwriters)
2. The Craft of Lyric Writing by Sheila Davis
3. The Songwriter's Handbook by Tom T. Hall
4. Tunesmith: Inside the Art of Songwriting by Jimmy Webb
5. The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield (with Stephen King, Jimmy Webb, Tom T. Hall)

SOURCE: SongTownUSA

Where Country Music Shoulda Gone

"Mama's Broken Heart"
by Kacey Musgraves, Shane L. McAnally, Brandy Lynn Clark

I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors
I screamed his name 'till the neighbors called the cops
I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver
I don't know what I did next all I know, I couldn't stop

Word got around to the barflies and the Baptists
My mama's phone started ringin' off the hook
I can hear her now sayin' she ain't gonna have it
Don't matter how you feel, it only matters how you look

CHORUS
Go and fix your make-up, girl it's just a breakup
Run and hide your crazy and start actin' like a lady
'Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
Even when you fall apart, but this ain't my Mama's Broken Heart

. .

Can't get revenge and keep a spotless reputation
Sometimes revenge is a choice you gotta make
My mama came from a softer generation
Where you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face

REPEAT CHORUS

Powder your nose, Paint your toes
Line you lips and keep 'em closed
Cross your legs and dot your i's
And never let 'em see you cry

REPEAT CHORUS

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

15th Annual Advance Music Singer-Songwriter Contest

THE POINT and SIERRA NEVADA PALE ALE present

The 15th annual

Advance Music Singer / Songwriter Contest

      

    

We're looking for the BEST singer/songwriters in the area. Polish up two original songs and enter the competition by contacting Advance Music at 800.660.8652 or register in the store at 75 Maple Street in Burlington by October 14.

The grand prize winner will receive: a $1,000 award from The Rachel Bissex White Light Fund, a brand new Taylor acoustic guitar from Advance Music and recording time to produce a three-song demo at KTR Recording Studio!

Each competitor will get a new set of guitar strings, a t-shirt and the opportunity to perform in front of a full house at a great club! 

   

               

   

The semi-finals

Halverson's Upstreet Cafe in Burlington - Tuesday, Oct 15 - 7pm

Club Metronome in Burlington  - Tuesday, Oct 22 - 7pm

The Monkey House in Winooski - Tuesday, Oct 29 - 7pm

 

The finals

Higher Ground in South Burlington - Tuesday, Nov 5 - 7pm

     

Please join The Point for each event to support these rising starts! No cover charge.      

   

    

Congratulations to our 2012 winner:  Chris Dorman of Shelburne, VT! 

       

 

   (L to R): White Light Fund co-founder and Point host Lynne Cardozo, Chris Dorman and White Light Fund co-founders Mary Trerice and Karl Bissex

"Oh Death, Oh Death" lyrics

Oh what is this, I cannot see
An icy hand takes hold on me?
Oh I am Death, that none can excel;
I open the door to heaven and hell

Oh Death, oh Death how can it be
That I must come and go with thee?
Oh death, oh death how can it be
For I'm unprepared for eternity?

Oh yes I've come for to get your soul,
Take your body and leave it cold;
I'll drop the flesh from off’n your frame,
The earth and worms both have their claim.

I’ll lock your jaw, so you can’t talk;
I’ll fix your feet, so you can’t walk;
I’ll close your eyes, so you can’t see:
This very hour, come and go with me.

Oh Death, oh Death please let me see
If Christ has turned his back on me.
When you were called and asked to bow,
You wouldn't take heed and it's too late now.

Oh Death, oh Death, please give me time
Too fix my heart, to change my mind.
Your heart is fixed, your mind is bound,
And I have the shackles to drag you down.

Farewell, farewell, to all farewell;
My doom is fixed I'm summoned to hell.
As long as God in heaven shall dwell,
My soul, my soul, shall scream in hell.

(traditional American folk song)

Stanley Brothers

"Long Black Limousine"

by Vern Stovall and Bobby George
(chords)

(G)There's a long line of (C)mourners headed down our little (G)street
Their fancy cars are such a sight to (D7)see
They're (G)all of your (C)new friends who knew you in the (G)city
And now the've finally (D7)brought you back to (G)me

(G)You said when you (C)left me some day you'd be re (G)turnin'
In a fancy car for all the town to (G)see
The whole town is (C)watching, you've finally got your (G)dream
You're ridin' in that (D7)long black limo (G)sine

The (C)paper told of how you lost your (G)life
The party and the fatal crash that (D7)night
The (G)race upon the (C)highway, the curve nobody (G)seen
And now you're in that (D7)long black limou (G)sine

(Instrumental)

Through (C)tears I watch as you go (G)by
A chauffeur at the wheel dressed up to (D7)clean
I'll (G)never love an (C)other my heart and all my (G)dreams
Ride with you in that (D7)long black limou (G)sine
Ride with you in that (D7)long black limou (G)sine.

"Will You Take This Body"

Will you take this body
. . To have and to hold
For richer or poorer
. . For when the nights grow cold?

Will you keep me safely
. . Until we both grow old
And fill my heart with gladness
. . When weak or when bold?

CHORUS
Promise to be true
All the days of our lives
Until Death do us part
In good times and in bad.

Will you take this sinner
. . So fearful and so weak
Make of me a winner
. . Help me turn the other cheek?

Will you take this sinner
. . So fearful and so weak
Make of me a winner
. . Like the blessed and the meek?

REPEAT CHORUS

July 3, 2011

For a little on back story, and a snatch of a possible tune to sing it to, see http://j-tv.me/nTvepT.

"Johnny One Time"

by Dallas Frazier and Arthur L. Owens, Sr.

So he told you that you're the dream that he's been searching for
And he told you that he's never met anyone like you before
And I can hear him telling you, your lips taste just like sherry wine
But did he tell you that he's known as 'Johnny One Time'.

Did he tell you that your heart will soon become
Another trinket on his bracelet of broken hearts?
Did he tell you that the morning sun will find you
Patching up your shattered pride and searching for the missing parts?

Did he tell you that the special love you're saving
Will disappear in flames of shame like mine?
Did he tell you that he's known as 'Johnny One Time'.

So he told you that he'd never lead your heart astray
And he told you that he'd love you forever and a day
And I can hear him telling you that he's the shy and bashful kind
But did he tell you that he's known as 'Johnny One Time'.

Did he tell you that your heart will soon become
Another trinket on his bracelet of broken hearts?
And did he tell you that the morning sun will find you
Patching up your shattered pride and searching for the missing parts?

And did he tell you that the special love you're saving
Will disappear in flames of shame like mine?
Did he tell you that he's known as 'Johnny One Time'?

FROM: http://www.elyrics.net/

'How Do You Speak to an Angel?'

by Bob Hilliard and Jule Styne

How do you speak to an angel
I'm completely in the dark
When you know that you've just met an angel
Is there a proper remark?

We were alone for a moment
Why was I lost in a cloud
Do you speak to an angel in a whisper
Or do you just say I love you out loud?

We were alone for a moment
Why was I lost in a cloud
Do you speak to an angel in a whisper
Or do you just say I love you out loud?

Songs My Grandmother Sang

One of the songs my grandmother used to sing, according to my mother, was 'I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter',* something Fred E. Ahlert and Joe Young penned in 1935. First a big hit by Fats Waller in '35, it went even higher for the Boswell Sisters the next year. Bing and Sinatra sang it, too . .

I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you
I'm gonna write words, oh, so sweet
They're gonna knock me off my feet
Kisses on the bottom
I'll be glad I've got 'em.

I'm gonna smile and say "I hope you're feelin' better"
And sign "with love" the way you do
I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you.

Point is, I woke up singing it this morning. Maybe 'cause they play it over the PA at the hippest place in town, yes, McDonald's where they do satellite radio--some sort of Oldies station (which I love every time I'm in there). Fred Ahlert wrote a couple other hits like: 'Mean to Me', 'Walkin' My Baby Back Home', 'Where the Blue of the Night (Meets the Gold of the Day)'.

---

*Another was 'Goody Goody' (1936) by Johnny Mercer (which Ella did).

"Mi Querido Viejo"

Erin Johnson hit another one out of the park with her version of "Mi Querido Viejo" at the weekly Little Grill Collective open mic Thursday, April 15th. She then treated us to two more songs. Usually she gives us one and leaves our tongues wagging until the next chance we have to hear her angelic voice.

MI QUERIDO VIEJO
Es un buen tipo mi viejo
que anda solo y esperando
tiene la tristeza larga
de tanto venir andando.
Yo lo miro desde lejos
pero somos tan distintos
es que creció con el siglo
con tranvía y vino tinto
viejo mi querido viejo
ahora ya camina lento
como perdonando el viento
yo soy tu sangre mi viejo
soy tu silencio y tu tiempo
el tiene los ojos buenos
y una figura pesada
la edad se le vino encima
sin carnaval ni comparsa
yo tengo los años nuevos
y el hombre los años viejos
el dolor lo lleva dentro
y tiene historias y sin tiempo
viejo mi querido viejo
ahora ya caminas lento
como perdonando el viento
yo soy tu sangre mi viejo
soy tu silencio
y tu tiempo
yo soy tu sangre mi viejos
soy tu silencio y tu tiempo

Lyrics

Heading into the final stretch of addressing the various lyrics-related issues at my site, I've made a few changes. Just determining which files should be considered lyrics at all has gone through further refinement.

• At least one piece that used to switch back-and-forth between poetry and lyrics, because I could never make up my mind, had ended up in both--but now I've relegated it to poetry alone. That would be 'If You See My Mind'.


• A few others, including 'I Got It All Wrong', 'You Need a Friend', 'Ain't It Peculiar', 'Walk-Off Home Run'--all moved from the 'starter' section to my Collection poetry section (which is only now being set up, poems to be moved from where they are now).


• 'Latin Love Song' came directly out of lyrics and went into Collection.


• 'In Charlottesville' and 'Portal to Hell' were moved to Sentence poems and the Mars collection respectively. What's interesting about both of these is that I actually 'pitched' each as a (potential) song to singer-songwriters I think highly of in Charlottesville, only now to determine myself that that's a real stretch.


• Several were trashed, essentially, taken from the 'starter' section and put into an 'extra' folder for further enlightened viewing at some later date.


• One came from this blog, 'She's Singing Patsy Cline Again', and went straight to lyrics.

The fate of a couple more is yet to be determined, but they seem destined to end up in the big show, too. The total number of lyrics now approaches sixty.

As to quality, so many of these 'lyrics' should still be considered just idea starters--but as a result of my being willing to write them and post them (imperfectly) some good songs might yet arise.

I should say, too, that part of what prompted me to start in on this much-belated project was an e-mail from Athens, Greece regarding my 'starter' lyric 'I Got No Use for You'. The e-mailer said she 'guessed she heard it somewhere' and asked if I knew the author. Within a couple of days I had moved it in with the main set of lyrics, wondering all the while where she thinks she'd heard MY song.

"She's Singing Patsy Cline Again"

She quit ever so briefly
She quit I think chiefly
Because I gave up the booze.

I quit comin' home late
Smellin' of whiskey
With vomit and puke on my shoes.

I quit leavin' her home 'lone
Drownin' in her tears
I quit being a public disgrace.

So she quit singin' that country
Our lives became tear-free
But now she's got smears on her face . .
October 3, 2008

"Those Were the Days"

Once upon a time, there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours,
Think of all the great things we would do.

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.

Then, the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If, by chance, I'd see you in the tavern,
We'd smile at one another and we'd say . .


Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days.

Just tonight, I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass, I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days.

Through the door, there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same.

Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days.

© 1968 by Gene Raskin; as sung by Mary Hopkin.

"The Ugly Tattoo Blues"

Nothing you can say will stop somebody from getting a tattoo, but many regret it later. Tattoo removal is more painful than the application. Enduring the procedure often leads the sufferer to say getting a tattoo in the first place was the stupidest thing he ever did.

It's enough to give you "The Ugly Tattoo Blues".

Songs About New Orleans

So many great songs have been written about "The Big Easy", including:

• "City of New Orleans" Steve Goodman
• "Down in New Orleans" John Kay
• "Planet of New Orleans" Dire Straits
• "Battle of New Orleans" Jimmy Driftwood
• "Queen of New Orleans" John Bon Jovi
• "Walking to New Orleans" Fats Domino
• "Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans" Eddie DeLange, Loise Alter
• "House of the Rising Sun" (traditional)
• "I Wish I Was in New Orleans" Tom Waits
• "New Orleans Rag" Bob Dylan
• "Year Down in New Orleans" Nanci Griffith
• "I Got a Man in New Orleans" Josephine Parker
• "New Orleans" sung by Toby Keith
• "Living in New Orleans" Michael J. Farrand

Some are better than others, of course.

"Killer Eyes"

wedding kiss

1. Carole Boone married Ted Bundy, the notorious serial killer of girls and young women, in 1980. After having received a death sentence for murdering two sorority girls, and injuring a third, he was being tried for the murder of a 12-year old girl in Florida when they tied the wedding knot. He would later confess to killing 28 women, but some experts believe it could have been more than a 100. They had one child in 1982. She later came to see his guilt, moved away, and divorced him. Bundy was executed for his crimes in 1989.
2. Christine Kizuka, a mother of three and supervisor at the Los Angeles office of the State Employment Development Department, married Angelo Buono, Jr. in 1986 while he was behind bars serving a life sentence. Buono was convicted in 1983 of the murder of nine women in Los Angeles, aged 12-28, during a four-month period from 1977 to 1978. He, together with his cousin Kenneth Bianchi, were the infamous "Hillside Stranglers".
3. Sondra London, known to some as the queen of the serial killer groupies, engaged to Danny Rolling in 1993. He was the infamous "Gainesville Ripper" who pled guilty to killing five young students in Gainesville, Florida. Together they wrote a book about his crimes.
4. Doreen Lioy, a freelance magazine editor with a bachelor's degree in English and an I.Q. of 152--married Richard Ramirez in 1996. He was the "Night Stalker" convicted of 13 killings in California.

It was with this strange love phenomenon in mind that I wrote "Killer Eyes".

SEE ALSO: www.crimelibrary.com and "Passion and the Prisoner: What do women see in men behind bars?" by Daphne Merkin, The New York Times Magazine, 8.28.05.

They're Playin' Our Song

The bluegrass lyric my friend Paul Young arranged into music, so we both could sing it - "Lonesome Mountain Blues" - has been listened to over twenty times this month. Yippy-yi-yay!

"Hangover Cure"

I've finally made the big time. My song lyrics "Hangover Cure" have just been published in the West Sound Brewers August 2005 newsletter. They're a "homebrewing and beer appreciation club in Kitsap County, Washington". 

Apparently the editor entered such terms as "lyrics", "country", "beer", and "blues" into Yahoo! and Google and came up with mine, along with some pretty good company such as Hank Williams, Jr., C. W. McCall, and Jimmy Witherspoon. 

With such titles as "Sell A Lot Of Beer", "Beer Man", "Beer and Bones", "Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On", and "Beer Drinkin' Woman" I feel right at home. I always knew if I couldn't find a market for my stuff anywhere else, the beer lovers would take me in. 

I wonder if their songs are based on a true story like mine is (from college years ago).

Or, for a real hangover cure. .