Words Fail

Double rainbow Lyndonville, Vermont

The Miracle of a Working Key Fob

If you own an older Saab, you know the miracle of a working key fob.
By the time the keys have been turned over to you, your 15-20-year-old car may have been through a number of owners. At least one of them likely left the thing to die when the CR2032 battery died.
You know the kind.

The batteries that look like lozenges

Problem is, if you let the battery die — and fail to replace it quickly — the whole system goes kaput. And then you know the true agony of living with a beautiful, classic Saab automobile with a failed key fob.

The joys of having a key fob and door entry system that actually works are many. They include door locks that go up and down with the press of a button. A rear gate that can be opened with pulling out your key. And a beautiful "tweet" sound that accompanies all this magic.

My Saab key fob works intermittently

With a yard full of Saabs, I've already lived the agony of failed key fobs. With the 1999 9-3 SE I've got now, I'm living the dream — at least intermittently — of a working fob. The glorious tweets! The ease of use! The sense of a Swedish luxury car working to its maximum potential!

But, then it goes out on me and I suffer — deeply. The first time this happened, just after I purchased the vehicle, I opened the device and checked it out. Some of that white corrosion film was apparent on the lozenge, so I replaced it.

Since then I live through the intermittency.

Until the failure seemed more permanent . .

. . and I put the proper (tiny) screwdriver in my car so I could take the fob apart again and have a look. It hadn't been long enough, it seemed, for the battery to have run down that far.

I really didn't wake up to the danger I was running until a couple weeks later. What if the battery had run down and the system fails? I rushed down to Rite Aid, and pulled out the manual to check the battery size. There in big letters it said that if the key fob battery did fail I'd get a warning notice on the dash.

I'd received no such warning.

Looking down the racks for the proper battery I noticed they were sold in two-packs — for $7.49 each. Since I'd purchased the last battery at that same store that would mean that I have another one somewhere.

I checked the glove compartment for an extra battery . .

. . but no dice. I stopped at the Chinese for lunch, bringing the special screwdriver in with me to effect the special operation on the failing key fob. Reviewing Twitter instead, I sat waiting impatiently for the waitress to come for my money.

When I got up to bring the tray to her, my key fob fell out of my pocket and onto the floor with a "SMACK". As I leaned down to retrieve it, I thought, "Could this have fixed it?"

I'm living the miracle of a working key fob again!

Trump Rides in New Cadillac "Beast" Limousine in Paris

The New "Beast"

The Cadillac Presidential State Car is its official name and it weighs eight tons. Its . .

• Doors are eight inches thick
• Bullet-proof tires ride on reinforced rims in case they do burst
• Weaponry includes tear gas cannons and a shotgun
• Systems include night vision, GPS tracking, and a satellite communication

SEE: "'Le Beast' arrives in France: Donald Trump's eight-ton Cadillac fascinates the land of the Renault Twingo" and "Trump's About to Get This New Presidential Limousine Called the Cadillac 'Beast'"

Somewhere West of Woodstock

Wow . .

Ettore Bugatti With His Creation

"Grave Crisis"

"The process of clarification and transparency must continue. This is the only way to win back trust. I am convinced that the Volkswagen Group and its team will overcome this grave crisis."

Martin Winterkorn

(former chief executive)

Spied in Hanover: Art Car

2017 Alfa Romeo Giulia

What to Get if You Can't Buy a GT4

In their April 27, 2015 video Should You Buy a Porsche Cayman GT4? Can you FIND one? the /DRIVE guys—host Mike Spinelli and regular guests Michael Prichinello and Zac Moseley of Classic Car Club Manhattan—tell us rubes what to buy if we can't buy the latest wundercar from Porsche.

1. Michael Prichinello's choice would be the BMW Z4 M coupe, which you can get for around $30-$35,000. Introduced in 2006, Car & Driver's verdict on it then was "A terrific and distinctive two-seat sports car that's the life of the party until a Cayman S shows up."
2. Zac Mosely argued for a "Hillbilly Cayman", starting with a 2010 or later Porsche Cayman S (first with direct injection). Get in for $40k and add $10k in improvements and you've got a real beast.
3. Michael Prichinello (the only one of them who's actually driven the GT4) suggests a Porsche 996 GT3.

If you can afford the new GT4, and actually take delivery on one, you'll have one of the most awaited cars in years—one likely to be an instant classic. Otherwise you can punk around with the rest of us, picking from some very nice used car options.

"Overtaken"

"Long Black Limousine"

by Vern Stovall and Bobby George
(chords)

(G)There's a long line of (C)mourners headed down our little (G)street
Their fancy cars are such a sight to (D7)see
They're (G)all of your (C)new friends who knew you in the (G)city
And now the've finally (D7)brought you back to (G)me

(G)You said when you (C)left me some day you'd be re (G)turnin'
In a fancy car for all the town to (G)see
The whole town is (C)watching, you've finally got your (G)dream
You're ridin' in that (D7)long black limo (G)sine

The (C)paper told of how you lost your (G)life
The party and the fatal crash that (D7)night
The (G)race upon the (C)highway, the curve nobody (G)seen
And now you're in that (D7)long black limou (G)sine

(Instrumental)

Through (C)tears I watch as you go (G)by
A chauffeur at the wheel dressed up to (D7)clean
I'll (G)never love an (C)other my heart and all my (G)dreams
Ride with you in that (D7)long black limou (G)sine
Ride with you in that (D7)long black limou (G)sine.