"Punk"

Are you picking up

   what I'm putting down?

Said the hipster to the punk

I'm not picking up anything, said he

   (buying another round).

June 1, 2025

"Instead"

Evil and Bad News

Decided to Wed

Evil said Bad News

Let's shoot ourselves instead.

August 18, 2022

"Legitimacy"

We can't withstand the intimacy

Said id to super id

It's our only chance at legitimacy

Replied ego to id.

December 27, 2021

"Multiple-Choice"

My drama is paramount

Said she with the sad, sad voice

To giving up it's tantamount

Said he with the multiple-choice.

November 27, 2021

"Kinda Daring"

When you affirm the consequent

And toss a red herring

Standing on a slippery slope

Must feel kinda daring.

September 28, 2020

"Learned Some Facts"

Ignorance said Arrogance
It's time you learned some facts
Surely, Arrogance replied Ignorance
As soon as your logic tracks.

August 25, 2018

"Hot to Trot"

Jolly Roger and Memphis Snot
Went down to the local poolroom.

Memphis said Jolly
Minnesota Fats you're not.

Agreed said Memphis
But at least I'm hot to trot!

May 11, 2018

"I'll Never Be Blue"

Dreamer, said Schemer
Your dreams will never come true!

Maybe, said Dreamer
But at least I'll never be blue!
February 24, 2018

"About Your Pride"

Thingy and Thingamajig
Went out for a Sunday ride.

Thingy, said Thingamajig
It's all about your pride!

Thingy considered this,
Then broke down and cried.

November 28, 2017

"You Complete Me"

'Will you marry me?'
Asked the nightmare wrapped in a horror show
'Yes, you complete me.'
Replied the horror show wrapped in a nightmare.
October 30, 2014

"The Mentally Ill Tell Stories"

Neurotics should not write novels she intoned at me
It was all I could do not to kiss her.

The mentally ill tell stories all the time I responded
Walking away instead.

July 22, 2012

"Picky, Snicky, and Wicky"

Picky, Snicky, and Wicky
Went into the candy store
You pick! to them said Picky
For me it's such a chore.

So Snicky grabbed
And Wicky bagged
And they headed
Out the door.

Wait! cried Picky
My favorite kind!
Can't we add just one more?
May 7, 2011

"Your Destructive Days Are Through"

Says Order to Chaos:

. . Your destructive days are through!

Says Chaos to Order:
. . Then I put an end to you.
May 12, 2010

"At Least They're Good With Knives"

Nightmare and Horror Show
Tied the knot
And ruined their children's lives.

"Nightmare," said Horror Show
"Their lives are completely shot."

"Horror Show," said Nightmare
"Yes, that is their lot
But at least they're good with knives."
August 19, 2007