Wednesday, July 12, 2017

SPOOF: Man Could Not Pass As Bear

A 36-year-old man who donned a bear costume in hopes of living among actual bears died a brutal death at the claws of these creatures in Shenandoah National Park. Ryan Riese of Fulton, Maryland died June 29, 2017, ripped apart by the bears whose community he hoped to enter.

After forging medical records to convince his family he needed the money to treat testicular cancer, he subsequently spent $42,000 on an "elaborate bear costume" created with the help of Hollywood costume designer Alfredo Fronz who is known best for his work in films such as The Revenant (2015), Grizzly Man (2005), The Edge (1997), and Grizzly (1978). Says Fronz of the effort:
"He kept asking if it would trick a real bear. I’d tell him, I don’t know man, maybe. I don’t do those kinds of tests. But he just kept pressuring me to promise him this would work. Finally, I was just like, ‘Yeah, sure, it will fool bears, man, stop emailing me.'”
Riese’s family is bringing charges against the costume designer claiming he misled Ryan into believing the costume would be safe to wear in the wild. In response, Fronz says: “I cover all that in the client agreement. You wear my costumes in the forest, that’s your ass, not mine.”

The costume was found strewn about Shenandoah National Park after a helicopter spotted part of it on a hillside during search and rescue. Responders say the bears tore the Man Who Wanted to Be a Bear to pieces the moment they saw him. Said EMT Brad Lucas of the carnage: “There is evidence the costume had an opposite effect. Like, it pissed them off so much, they just ripped him up out of spite.”

The funeral was to be held at Hungry Bear BBQ in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Ryan's favorite dining spot.

SPOOF SOURCE: "Man Who Self-Identified as Bear Found Bear Community Highly Intolerant".
DISCLAIMER: is satire, nothing published there is intended to be thought of as true; it is for entertainment purposes only.

Ryan Riese at his favorite eatery

No comments: